freshjerseypeach

Written On Our Hearts: God, Love, Family

Didn’t see THAT coming

So, at my Bible study group this morning I had something totally take me off guard.

There’s a woman who’s pregnant. So, what, right? Pregnant women haven’t bothered me since Lexi came home. Even with pursuing child #2 now, it hasn’t really been an issue.

All of a sudden, this morning, I thought of the baby in her womb and got very sad and teary. I almost had to leave the room, it was just like back before Lexi. All of a sudden,  I really wanted baby #2, like NOW and was thinking ” it’s not fair.”

Sheesh! You’d think I’d be past this by now! But, the thing is, it passed quickly and I moved on. Silly emotions.

But, as far as child #2 goes, there are days where life as a family of 3 is going great and I think I won’t mind if #2 takes a long time to get here.

Then there are days where I want it to happen fast so that Lexi and her are not too far apart in age. Plus, I do NOT like this waiting, this uncertainty. That is the main thing, for me, in adoption that bothers me. No due date. No time frame AT ALL for when/if a baby will be coming home.

Then I get the fears, the same ones I had pre-Lexi: “No one will pick us, we’re too old, too unattractive, too boring….”

Those old tapes need to be smashed!

It will happen, right? I will have another child? Yeah….it will.

Anyway, pics of my beautiful girl:

My Diva!

So happy with the Grandparents’ Easter gift: a tea set

Tea party for the bunnies! Having a girl is SUCH fun!

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